All I asked for was a two day break from it all. But these storms answer to no one. What is one voice against the thunder of many: “Be a good person” “Give yourself to others” “Stop being selfish” “Why did you do this to yourself”. The thunder is constant and as this tempest rages, I lie supplicant. Let the wind take away all my spirit, the rain wash away my soul. They say that humans are social creatures. I’m starting to think this is wearing away my humanity
I come home crashing, an empty vessel skittering on pencil thin leg, frantically rushing even though I’m already home and there’s nothing to do. Kept going by the constant need to do something, I’ve been running on empty for a while now. It is days and nights like these that I miss your presence, even if I all I ever had was a shadow. I long for the days where I can come home and have someone to tell my story to; to lay with someone and hold them because they understand that this profound sadness can’t be cured by crying and ice cream; to hear their side of the story and be each other’s strength. Sadly, those days are past or are yet to come. For now, the lifeless shadow of who I have become will have to wait for winter to come and go.
and so I go on